The Day My Brain Checked Out and Left Me on Autopilot

Have you ever had one of those days where your brain just… quits? Not in a dramatic, “I need a vacation” way — more like, quietly packs up its stuff, leaves a sticky note that says “Good luck,” and vanishes into the void. That was me last Tuesday.

It started when I tried to unlock my front door with my car key fob. I stood there, clicking the button like a confused spy, waiting for the house to beep or something. When nothing happened, I just nodded to myself, said “It’s probably just asleep,” and kept clicking.

Inside, I made coffee — or tried to. Instead of putting the mug under the machine, I placed my phone there. I didn’t even notice until I wondered why my coffee “sounded weird.” My phone now smells like espresso. Honestly, not the worst outcome.

Later, during a video meeting, I enthusiastically answered a question meant for someone else. The awkward silence that followed was only made better by the fact that my mic was muted the whole time. I gave the best muted speech of my life, and no one heard a word.

By lunchtime, things got worse. I walked into the pantry to get peanut butter… and forgot why I was there. I stood for a full minute, looking at canned beans like they might jog my memory. They didn’t. I walked out with a packet of napkins and ate dry toast like a sad pilgrim.

That evening, I tried to unwind with a little TV. I grabbed the remote, pointed it at the microwave, and hit “play.” I wish I were kidding.

It’s not burnout. It’s not exhaustion. It’s just a classic case of “life overload,” where your brain is juggling too many tabs, and suddenly — it freezes. You’re still functioning, technically, but also… not really.

And the funny part? We’ve all been there. We’ve put milk in the cabinet, phones in the fridge, or called someone and immediately forgotten why. It’s the universal language of modern adulthood: low battery brain.

So here’s to all of us running on coffee, Wi-Fi, and whatever brain cells are still clocked in. If your brain ever decides to leave you hanging — just smile, shrug, and try not to microwave your phone.